I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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