You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
