I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
