Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize