I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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