This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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