This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
