First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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