im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
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