K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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