They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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