Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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