For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
