tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
