there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
