so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
