Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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