yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
