we have pet lesbian snakes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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