sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
