I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize