before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
