Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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