ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
