Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
