It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
