i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
