ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
