Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
