She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
