let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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