i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
