in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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