WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
