She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
