I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
