it wasn't lemon gatorade
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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