Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wear drunk well.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
