just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
