You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
