i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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