Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
