the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
