Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize