Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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