you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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