You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
