So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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