I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
