you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
