it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I currently don't understand fingers.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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