I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
