whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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