I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
