i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
