Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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