i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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