i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
