If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
