OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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