She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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