i barfeds in our rink
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
