I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
