The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
