I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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