I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
please don't ironically join a cult
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