the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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