Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
