Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
