I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
