im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
