Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
