I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize