As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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