You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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