She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize